I created the category of posts “Nikki Project” back when I started this blog in June. It’s really just a phrase I had coined since junior high whenever I wanted to become “super skinny” and workout until I achieve my “ideal me.”
Now that I’m in my senior year of college, I realize that it’s more than just being super skinny or even the ideal me. It’s about being happy and healthy. My current infraction on both those items? Stress.
This year I am a full-time student taking 16 credit hours with over 30 hours a week of work with my two part time jobs. As a result, I don’t budget times for personal enjoyment or personal crises. So when I was stalked at the beginning of this semester and had to get a restraining order-type agreement on top of my tons of school work and work-work, I ate my feelings. I lost sleep. And now, even though it’s over, I still just feel like a stressed out blob.
Sure, things have gotten back to “normal,” but I still find that my life is always at this level of stress that is even a higher level than my usual. I’ve been skipping out on workouts in the morning because I figured that sleep was more important at times. But now I’m realizing that even with that extra hour or so, I’m still exhausted all day.
Now my rationale is this: Instead of sleeping that extra hour, I’m going to exercise. Those endorphins I once loved will help me fuel my day and de-stress me, I believe. And less stress is what I need right now.
So this year, my “Nikki Project” is on how to live healthfully in a way that will reduce stress. I believe once I can do that, all the other desired side effects will come: healthy weight, healthy workout routine, healthy diet, appropriate sleep, etc. But really, the heart of all my “problems” isn’t just that I don’t like healthy food or hate excercise. I love both. The problem is stress. Fix the problem at the source instead of attacking the symptoms.
Well, here’s to trying. It’s Day #1 of the Nikki Project, and even though I’m exhausted, I’m about to head to the gym. My idea isn’t that I’m going to get skinny. I’m going to get me-time and do something for myself.
I sure hope myself appreciates it, cuz sleep-deprived me is kicking and screaming the whole way through.